The nature of leadership is changing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acF69KS1sq0

Leadership used to be about authority and commanding “respect” or even fear from subordinates. It was a person who pushed others to perform. That used the stick more than the carrot. But this is not the most effective style and just leads to burnout and low motivation.

Therefore, what is a better style? How should we lead?

There are many leadership theories and styles floating around from laissez-faire to coaching. You can take a myriad of tests to find out which one you are. There is also the situational leadership theory telling us to adjust our style depending on the competence and level of knowledge of our team. In fact, even the words we use have changed from staff to team, to try and give a more human centred feeling. To try to persuade employees they are more valued and appreciated.

We need more than words.

So what makes a good leader in the late two thousand and twenties?

In my experience, it comes down to three principles: treating your team as human beings, recognising that they are the work rather than a means to an end, and giving them the respect they deserve. The quality that holds all three together is authenticity.

When I was a manager for the first time I leaned too heavily on what my boss wanted from me, implementing his style and opinions. I was not successful. I made the same mistake when I began my second and even third leadership roles. Then during COVID everything changed. I was a “remote leader”. I did not have my boss breathing down my neck telling me what to do with my team. I could finally do things the way I saw fit.

The first thing I did was treat my team as human beings. This means acknowledging that they will make mistakes, they are not perfect and will not know what to do all the time. It was also about knowing that they had come from a place where a leader reprimanded them and talked down to them when they made a mistake, and where it was better to hide your mistakes than ask for support.

The second was to treat them as gold. This means knowing it is them who makes the company successful. They are in touch with the clients. They make the business work. My role was really about helping them do their jobs to the best of their ability because it was really them that mattered. This also differs from the theory that the clients should be the centre of concern.

The third is treating them with the respect they deserve. This meant making clear that the company was lucky to have them working at 100%, motivated and going above and beyond, and that they were free to leave if they were unhappy, so the company should value them.

This was especially important as I had little influence over what their pay rate was. When I set up a suggestion box to collect my team’s ideas, my boss believed all they would do was ask for a pay raise as that was the primary motivating tool. I believed he was wrong. I was proven right, even though I know fair compensation is needed and deserved.

Another lesson I learnt along the way was to not to just give them instructions and let them get on with it without checking in as maybe they would get the wrong end of the stick or not know what to do and not ask for support. Or be so demoralised from their treatment or low wages thus far that they wouldn’t put care and attention into the task at hand. Laissez-faire does not work well.

Changes take time to take effect.

I went about creating an atmosphere where I was not their friend (boundaries were needed), but they knew I was on their side and that it was fine to admit they didn’t know something, or to ask for help with anything from technical problems to not having what they needed.

This did not mean baby-sitting them or holding their hands, so they were dependent on me. When a problem arose, I’d ask them what they thought we should do. Then I’d even say let’s do it or tell them the drawbacks. Obviously, I wouldn’t let things go on forever if they didn’t come up with the best solution immediately and if time was short. Sometimes I just had to step in with the solution, making sure they knew what it was and why, so that next time they would take the right course of action.

I would also put myself in their shoes to make sure they had all the information they needed immediately. I had been in their position so I knew how frustrating it could be if you didn’t have all the information you need. I knew what their concerns would be so could pre-empt them and give them the data or calm their concerns.

Another thing I’d do is let them know I was not perfect and have made, can and will make mistakes. This type of leadership is essentially about showing and owning vulnerability. This helps them own their mistakes and not be afraid to admit them. If mistakes are covered up badly, they will come back to haunt you in a worse fashion in the future. This applies for things other than mistakes. If a rule needs bending, but the employee doesn’t feel they will get the support from their leaders, they will cover it up, and this can lead to issues such as record inaccuracies that come back to bite you.

Lastly, and tied into everything else I’ve said, we should talk about communication explicitly. This is another key to successful leadership whether it be written or spoken.

Successful communication can be broken down to 55% body language, 38% tone of voice and only 7% the words you use (Albert Mehrabian). In written communication you only have that 7% at your disposal. You can’t transfer body language into text but we can gain the extra 38% if we concentrate on the tone which will be conveyed through our words.

Think carefully how you word things. Imagine you are communicating with an intelligent, but highly sensitive person. This doesn’t mean becoming so indirect that your message gets washed away by diplomacy, but it means making sure it is respectful, considerate, clear and concise. Say what you mean or want without beating around the bush, or providing unnecessary details, but making sure it is complete at the same time. If you want them to do something that puts them out or asks them to do extra: don’t forget the why. But make the why real. No false deadlines, urgency or convoluted/invented reasons. Truth is underestimated. Authenticity is non-negotiable.

An Authentic Leader

I think another one of my successes as a leader comes down to my authenticity. What does that mean?

Beyond what you can search for on the internet about an authentic leader:

“An authentic leader acts with high integrity, self-awareness, and transparency, aligning their actions with core values rather than personal gain or ego. They build trust through vulnerability, admitting mistakes, and fostering open relationships, which leads to higher employee engagement and performance. They are motivated by a sense of purpose and a desire to serve their team” (Center for Creative Leadership)

It means making sure YOU are consistently present. Your voice, your values, your humour, your style. You are not conforming to what you think a leader should be (e.g. charismatic if you aren’t so naturally, or serious if you are normally a light-hearted person). There should not be a leadership mask, YOU should be fully integrated into the persona you project. This builds trust. An overly filtered, inauthentic mask does not build trust.

When I resigned from my position, I received emails of “condolences” reacting to my resignation using words such as “devastated”. I also received recommendations on LinkedIn saying things like

“…attentive, available and understanding. Her work has enabled me to do my job with confidence and ease, providing me with useful resources, help, and motivation whenever I needed them.

I particularly valued her clear and concise communication, and her ability to pinpoint problems and come up with simple, practical solutions.”

“I soon discovered her excellent people-oriented and empathetic approach to managing a team of freelance trainers and coaches. I regularly sought out her sound advice and as a result grew professionally.”

I think the key words or phrases I take as feedback are:

• Empathic

• People-oriented

• Enabled me to do my job with confidence

• Understanding

• Clear and concise communication

• Sought out her…advice and as a result grew professionally

Other feedback reflected on how my leadership style enabled them to provide the highest quality.

It was a pleasure for me to work with my team and go above and beyond, because beyond them knowing I had their back they had mine. They would go above and beyond for me and therefore for the company too.

Being their leader helped me grow professionally and understand what an effective leader should be.

I often miss that job, despite a lot of the issues I faced in the role and within the company as a whole. That is what I now help other leaders find through my coaching: not a new management theory or another test to tell you what type of leader you are, but the courage to lead as yourself.

Everyone tells leaders to put their people first. That is not quite what I am saying. I am saying your people are the work. They are what the company runs on. When they feel safe, valued and respected by someone who presents themselves as a real human being rather than a management role, everything else falls into place: the quality, the effort, the loyalty, the results.

Ask yourself one question: do the people on your team feel safe enough to admit a mistake, ask for help, or push back on a decision? If the answer is no, that is where to start.

If you are stepping into a leadership role or want to work on your leadership style, I provide one-to-one Leadership and professional skills coaching.

What do you think makes a good leader?